Where is the art?

Its 5am. Coffee. Other things come to mind but mainly just that ... coffee.

I've been chatting this morning to the guys from I-Park in the USA about my residency there, coffee. It was an early call. Coffee. It's not yet dawn, but it was wonderful to talk about the work I want to make and comforting to hear how organised and supportive they are but also how open they are to artists processes and the development of work. I like them already. I like them like coffee. They provide food but I forgot to ask about coffee. hmmmm... I might need to organise that myself. And the house and studios sound wonderful. They asked me what time I like to get up. I said 10am. At 10:01 I have coffee.

I miss not being in the studio at the moment. I've noticed my agitation and restlessness at not making anything for a month - you have probably just notice that nothing arty has happened on the blog. Perhaps its the longest I've gone without making work. Coffee could help with that calculations. Some days its not just agitation it's a simmering distress like a caged animal that starts gnawing at its own leg. I'm pleading with the world "Enough with all the paper work!' "Stop sending me emails and forms".

Hannah Bertram formally know as 'The artist'
Cause of Death: Bureaucracy

Or maybe it wasn't the paper that killed her, but the balls that killed her? Remember that ad that was out a while ago, with all those coloured bouncy balls. They get released at the top of the hill and bounce all out of control and crazy like down the street. It looked like fun in the ad, but in life when your insanely busy and you 'drop the ball' or in my case 'balls' it's not fun. (coffee could also help to extend my early morning vocabulary). This week I have apologised to more people then I may have apologised to in my whole life. "Dear So-and-so, I'm really sorry I missed the meeting last week" ... "Dear So-and-so, I'm really sorry I haven't got around to sending you the catalogue images" .... "Dear So-and-so, I'm sorry.. "  "I'm sorry" "I'm sorry" "I'm sorry". Its quite humbling to have to be apologetic and to daily admit your flaws to people. Still, I'd rather have everything under control. I'd rather drink instant coffee with powdered milk than drop balls.

I'd rather be in the studio.